“How One Question Changed Our Whole Board Culture”
A true story about reclaiming fundraising as love, not labour.
It began with an awkward silence.
The board retreat had started off as many do—smiling faces, a strong agenda, a few jokes about coffee and compliance. Good people, all of them. Passionate about the mission. Proud to serve.
But when I shifted the session to fundraising, something shifted in the room. Arms crossed. Chairs leaned back. A few eyes wandered toward the windows.
Then came the question. Gently, but purposefully asked:
“What would fundraising feel like… if it were an act of love?”
No one spoke.
Not because they were disengaged—but because the question struck bone. It bypassed the spreadsheets and KPIs and reached somewhere far more tender.
And then, one voice broke the silence.
A long-standing board member—an elder in the community, deeply respected—cleared her throat.
“When I first gave to this organisation, no one asked me for anything.
I saw the work, and I felt... part of something. I just wanted to help.”
Another shared a story of their daughter’s illness, and how a nurse’s small kindness made them give to health programs for years.
Someone else confessed:
“I always thought fundraising was sales. But if it’s actually about love—then maybe I’ve misunderstood it all along.”
And just like that, the room softened.
That afternoon, everything shifted.
I gently guided the group to reimagine friendraising—not as a chore, but as an extension of care.
They asked:
Who in your life would feel proud to support this?
When have you felt most connected to the mission?
What does gratitude look like from you, not just the staff?
By the end of the retreat:
Two board members had offered to write thank-you cards that week.
One committed to inviting three friends to an upcoming event.
The youngest member volunteered to co-host a morning tea at her office.
They began planning “Board Thanking Thursdays.”
But more than actions—it was the energy that changed. A shift from reluctance to alignment. From duty to desire. From fear to fire.
Six Months Later
Retention of mid-level donors had improved.
Board attendance at donor gatherings tripled.
One new donor, brought in through a board member’s storytelling, made a surprise $20,000 gift.
But most importantly: the board felt good about fundraising.
Not because they became expert askers. But because they finally saw it as part of the mission. A chance to extend love, not extract money.
If You’re Planning a Board Retreat or Culture-Shift Session...
Start with this question:
“What would fundraising feel like if it were an act of love?”
Then wait. Let the silence do its work.
You don’t need a slide deck to change hearts—you need a room willing to feel.
“Fundraising is not about money. It’s about relationships. It’s about shared values. It’s about love.”